Balbo (Similar to Gaston)

[LEFOU] Gosh, it disturbs me to see you Balbo Looking so down in the dumps Every guy here'd love to be you, Balbo! Even when taking your lumps There's no man in town as admired as you You're everyone's favorite guy Everyone's awed and inspired by you And it's not very hard to see why

No one's slick as Balbo No one's quick as Balbo No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Balbo For there's no man in town half as manly

[BIMBETTES] Perfect, a pure paragon!

[LEFOU/MEN] You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley And they'll tell you whose team they'd prefer to be on

Who plays darts like Balbo? Who breaks hearts like Balbo? Who’s much more than the sum of his parts like Balbo?

[Balbo] As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating!

[ALL] My, what a guy, that Balbo!

[Balbo] I needed encouragement Thank you, LeFou

[LEFOU] Well, there's no one as easy to bolster as you! Too much?

[Balbo] ...Yep

[ALL] No one fights like Balbo Douses lights like Balbo

[LEFOU] In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Balbo

[Balbo] When I hunt, I sneak up with my quiver And beasts of the field say a prayer First, I carefully aim for the liver Then I shoot from behind

[LEFOU] Is that fair?

[Balbo] I don't care

[ALL] No one hits like Balbo Matches wits like Balbo

[LEFOU] In a spitting match, nobody spits like Balbo

[Balbo] I'm especially good at expectorating!

[spits]

[ALL] Ten points for Balbo!

[Balbo] When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs Every morning to help me get large And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs So I'm roughly the size of a barge!

[LEFOU/MEN] Who has brains like Balbo? Entertains like Balbo?

[Balbo] Who can make up these endless refrains like Balbo? I use antlers in all of my decorating

[ALL] Say it again Who's a man among men? Who's the super success? Don't you know? Can't you guess? Ask his fans and his five hangers-on There's just one guy in town Who's got all of it down...

[LEFOU] And his name's B-A-L...B... I believe there's another B... It just occurred to me that I'm illiterate And I've never actually had to spell it out loud before...

[ALL] Balbo!